BoJack Ice Cream

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July 17th I got the gift I had been waiting nearly a year for, more BoJack Horseman episodes.  In some ways I like the “every episode all at once” style of Netflix, but the problem is while the show is delicious ice cream, eating a ton of ice cream in one day has negative side effects. I burn through them so quickly that the wait for the next season feels even longer to me.  I know I watched every episode of season one all in a single day, and it made the wait for season two feel longer.  I know I shouldn’t complain, what’s stopping me from simply waiting week to week before watching a new episode.  Perhaps I need to learn self control, like I do with ice cream.  I mean, not this season, I’m already five episodes in, but maybe next season.

side note: Am I the only one who thinks BoJack’s nose looks like an upside down ice cream cone or am I just obsessed with ice cream.

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Deflategate: Cheaters Never Prosper, Except in the NFL

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If you haven’t heard about deflategate or “Ballgazhi” let me quickly break it down.  There appears to be an investigation going on after Sunday night’s AFC Championship game.  There is a possibility that the football the Patriots used in the game may have purposely deflated, making it the ball easier to throw and catch, especially in the rain.

Tom Brady has called the claims of the deflated balls ridiculous, but I don’t think so.  After spygate in 2007,the season in which the Patriots were caught videotaping the Jets’ defensive signals (aka cheating), I don’t think the Patriots have any right to get defensive about anyone questioning their honor.  Once you’ve cheated on a large scale, your punishment is that people will continue to think you’re a cheater.  I believe after spygate Bill Belichick, who was fined the maximum amount allowed, should not have been allowed to keep his job.  He should’ve been fired or at least the team should’ve been forced to change their name to the New England Pumpkin Eaters.

Let’s say the balls were deflated, but the Patriots didn’t intentionally do it.  Maybe there was a mix up, they had a weighing issue, or maybe Lane Kiffen did it to frame Bill.  In a way you’re still cheating.  If Tom Brady, or any other player, noticed at any point during the game that the ball felt weird in a way you’re cheating.  If in a board game, someone deals me an extra $20 it becomes my responsibility to mention it, not the person who dealt the cards.

In 2014 there was a championship for the board game Ticket to Ride.  The winner, Erwin Pauelsen, was stripped from his titled when he was caught cheating by online spectators of the game taking extra turns.  At first Pauelsen seemed to be confused by the situation saying he was tired and accidentally made a mistake in the game.  And so on one hand are we supposed to jump down the throat of someone who made a mistake in a game? Even I have made a mistake in a game.  But the fact of the matter is this was a tournament, and he turn several extra turns, at a certain point people will stop believing you.  Maybe the Patriots didn’t cheat, but once you’ve been caught and excused several other times it becomes hard to ignore.  Some people will continue to deny that the Patriots ever cheated in the first place.  Some people just love their heroes too much to hear about how they are not as squeaky clean as they once thought. #Bill Cosby

It Doesn’t Matter if You’re Black & White

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Here’s a weird gripe of mine.  It’s a little weird when people tell me they don’t want to watch a specific movie because it’s too old.  I understand if not everyone wants to watch a black and white silent picture like Nosferatu or Metropolis, but now I encounter people who wont even see movies from the 70’s.  In fact, when I worked at Blockbuster (a scene in which I assumed movie lovers would work) my co-workers made fun of me for watching a movie from 1998 in the store, they claimed that that was too old for a movie.  Typically in these scenarios I point out Disney movies that they liked as a kid.  Most people forget that their precious movies like Bambi came out in 1942.

But there’s a flip side.  People complain about new movies.  I worked on five different movies as a stereo-compositor.  I would tell people that my job was converting movies into 3D.  Gross, 3D sucks, it’s just a gimmick, were among the comments I’d hear.  This isn’t a new concept, luddites have always been around, even in film.  There were people thought color and sound were horrible when they first came out, even film was viewed as nothing more than a carnival gag.

What’s my point? Maybe we should be less critical of technology and just enjoy film and the stories it tells, or maybe I’m just trying to distract you from the fact that I didn’t post anything in November or December. Who knows?

Rent, Blu-Ray, Bin

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There’s an old conversation game known as Fuck, Marry, Kill.  It’s got tons of names: Boff, Marry, Kill,  Wed, Bed, Kill Fuck, chuck, Marry etc.  The rules are always the same.  Someone chooses 3 people and the other players have to choose which of those they would kill, fuck, and marry.  Typically the 3 people are celebrities or in saucier examples co-workers. For example: If someone gave me Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, and Mila Kunis.  I respond something like: Shag Mila, Marry Jen Law, and Kill Emma (Sorry someone has to go).  I actually think that this game can be kind of lame, unless you play with me.  I throw in weirder angles and make it more exciting.  I don’t really care that my friend wants to bed Natalie Portman, I want to give them tough situations that they have to piece out.  FMK: Tony the Tiger, Lucky The Lucky Charms guy, or Snap, Crackle, and Pop together.  No my friends choices sound more interesting.  Well I think Tony would be GREAT! but Snap, Crackle, and Pop seem like good providers, hmmm Lucky is too manic for me.

I have invented a new game.  Sure it may not be as thrilling as deciding which breakfast cereal characters you’d romp around with, but at least this one you can play with your parents.  Rent, Blu-Ray, Dollar Bin.  One person chooses 3 movies and the contestants must decide which one they’d rent (watch once), Blu-ray (Spend money on and display in their home), or “Dollar” Bin (Thinks it belongs in a dollar bin,  and would never want to watch).

So there you go: Rent, Blu-Ray, Bin.  You can make your friends choose between their favorite movies or their least favorite.

What do you think?

The Animal, Baby Geniuses, From Justin to Kelly

Men of Few Words

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I feel like most of my posts revolve around the movies I work on.  This post is no different.

Go see Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s good.  Actually, I don’t know, don’t trust me.  I don’t think I can accurately judge the movie.  I have liked the visual style (especially the character design) for months, but it’s hard for me to actually rate the film.  When I saw Guardians, and every movie I’ve worked on,  I get caught up in remembering the time I spent on the film.  I don’t really view the work as a audience member, but more as a disembodied form who remembers ever weird detail about the film (I remember the difficult shots, the one I was extremely proud of, or that one that my coworker spent weeks on for no reason). As I drive around and see countless billboards for these huge blockbusters, I feel like they are almost just movie posters hanging on my bedroom wall and not part of some huge thing.

So go see Guardians of the Galaxy, and tell me what you think.

Storm Vs. The Mighty El Niño

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I think about superpowers a lot.

I’m in the habit of asking people what they would want for a superpower.  Almost unsurprisingly, most people want abilities that would help themselves out in everyday life.  Teleportation, is very popular as well as the ability to read minds, and telekinesis. My girlfriend, who is not a comic fan, wants weather control, which would be cool, but maybe not super useful hear in L.A. since the weather is generally always nice. But, I suppose if she had the power to control the climate she could make it storm and end this terrible drought.

That’s when I realized that Storm kind of sucks.  Instead of squaring off with villains, she could use her talents to end droughts and inclement weather.  Now I understand that Storm’s powers don’t exactly work that way (or at least I understood after a few of my co-workers calmly explained why my theories are “harsh”).  Storm has to pull the weather pattern from another part in the world, meaning, if she wants it to rain in one part of the world she has to pull the rain clouds from other parts of the world.  I explained that she could probably spare to pull some clouds from Seattle or Vancouver, perhaps even clouds over the ocean.  Some thought it might not work that way, that she just pulls random rain clouds when she creates her storms.  Maybe, but wouldn’t that mean every time someone robs a bank Storm might be causing large parts of the Earth to dry up.  If so, Storm kind of sucks.

Perhaps I’m unfair.  Most superheroes could do better.  Superman could run around in a hamster wheel generator and power entire cities in a couple of hours, sounds a lot more useful than that newspaper job of his.